The day before yesterday, Sister Lucy (nicknamed Mother Teresa of Pune) was in town. She was inaugurating a new centre at Maher. She called me to join. I went. It was a one-hour drive from my home.
My sister and 5-year-old niece joined.
As we reached and got seated, we were in for a surprise. Sister Lucy announces my name, calls my sister and me on stage, honours us with a shawl and stuff. :) In the presence of big dignitaries of the state.
Part embarrassing, part joyous. :-D After a point of cultivating detachment, you sort of learn to be okay with spotlight too. Anyway, the show isn’t about you, even if the ego tends to perceive it that way. So you just learn to flow with the flow. :)
I read once that “humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is just thinking of yourself less.”
….
But let me share a moment that became a bigger teacher for me later that day.
We were going back in the car. We stopped on our way for tea.
There is nothing like stopping for tea by a motel on the highway. :-D
And there is nothing like feeling grateful for Mom for forcibly giving you some munchies for the car, even when you said no so many times. So we found ourselves hungry and had a tiffin full of milk biscuits.
We were munching the biscuits, sipping the tea.
I went and gave a couple of biscuits to our driver too, to sip along with tea. That’s quite usual for us.
Now. There was a very run-down and dark tyre shop next to the tea joint. A guy sat, talking on the phone. And his kid, perhaps 9-10 years of age, was running and playing around joyfully.
As I saw them, I felt that life is a great leveller.
We run around so much, to accumulate stuff, to grow our incomes, to give every conceivable facility to our children and ourselves. And yet, there was this kid, in a dark tyre shop, with eyes beaming with joy.
They had little externally, but when it comes to joy – you don’t need to earn that in a market economy. It’s a gift we can find inside us. When it comes to contentment – sometimes you can find it in a run-down tyre shop, what you may not be able to find it in driving a luxury car.
…
So one of the properties of compassion, of love, is it always wants to include. To broaden the circle of life. Something about us having those biscuits, when there is a child so near to us – didn’t feel right. Not like merely morally wrong, but it felt like something could be rearranged here in a better way. :)
Often our first impulse is kindness. But we reason ourselves out of it.
I thought, what might his dad think? They aren’t beggars. His dad might not appreciate us offering him biscuits.
Then I thought it is just two biscuits. It is such an insignificant thing. I have never gifted two biscuits to someone. Generally, we give away a packet. But today, there were just two left. So it was two or none. I was afraid that my gift and hence I might be perceived as inadequate, even disrespectful.
But the heart’s desire to give, to connect, has greater power than the mind’s tendency to hoard, to fear.
So I went, and without even saying anything - that kid was standing next to his dad. I just extended the two biscuits.
He cheerfully took it, ran back to the entrance of his garage, sat there and relishing devoured those milk biscuits. Then resumed back his play.
In a few minutes, we were ready to leave. I waved bye to him from the car.
He was looking with interest, and a look of appreciation. But he didn’t respond.
I waved bye again. He didn’t respond back with a bye.
I waved bye again. He didn’t respond.
The car left. :)
……….
Later I asked my niece if she saw what I did with those extra biscuits I took from her towards the end. She thought I had eaten them. I told her that I gave it to that boy. She looked at me in disbelief.
She said she also gives a lot to “needy” people.
I told her she was also hungry at that moment, so she was also needy. I was also hungry, I was also needy.
She said, we have a house, so we are not “needy”.
It helped both of us revisit our assumptions, reflect on what neediness is.
…..
Beyond stuff, I think we are all needy for connection, for oneness. We have a deep need in us, to give love. To embrace life around us.
May we all fulfil that need, by opening our heart, opening our arms.
And remember that love is not charity. I often think of a song Given To by Marshall Rosenberg in this matter.
I never feel more given to
Then when you take from me,
When you understand the joy I feel
Caring for you.
And you know my giving isn't done
To put you in my debt,
But because I want to live the love
I feel for you.
To receive with grace
May be the greatest giving.
There is no way I can separate the two.
When you give to me
I give you my receiving
And when you take from me
I feel so given to.
And sometimes, all we have to offer is our two biscuits. But it was never about the stuff in the first place. It was all about the love underneath the stuff - that makes the giver and the receiver come alive.
…..
Thank you Sister lucy for becoming such an extraordinary instrument of love. Every meeting with you has always inspired many like me towards more love, sometimes in conscious and sometimes in serendipitous ways. Thank you for reminding that love is always greater than fear and doubt. :)
As long as we are alive - we are always on stage. The stage of life is unfolding all around us, wherever we are, in each moment. And the universe is looking — how graciously are we going to respond. :)
Beautifully written and thank you for sharing.